Deja vu and you…
Laying in the bed with my robe untied, braids nestled on the top of my head in a messy bun, surrounded by boxes of tissues, medicines, vitamins, water bottles and Chapstick. I stared up at my ceiling fan and whispered a soft prayer of thanks to God, for blessing me with all that I need in such a poor state of health. Feeling like crap, I turned to over to my stomach and moved my legs to a cooler part of the sheets and laid my head inside the crevice of my arm on my elbow. It was silent for a few moments and then the phone rang. In somewhat of a daze, I answered… “Hello”. There was a small space of silence, and then I realized it was a familiar yet unknown voice on the other line, and I lost my focus for a few seconds.
I have had this recurring experience of a Deja vu type of effect on people and it manifest in the strangest of ways over the years. Now, before you start thinking I’m being conceited please know that in the humblest way possible – I’m telling you the truth… Once a person is embraced into the closest realms in my life, by manner of depth, intimacy, or in love, I somehow have an effect and make as imprint that never leaves the heart or mind of those who encounter it and it will rise up out of nothing and nowhere, making that person feel disoriented and uncomfortable realizing they had something that now they don’t. I’ve been told it’s psychologically euphoric, for them to press into the memories and falsely recreate the feeling they once had.
“Deja vu” is defined as “an anomaly of memory whereby, despite the strong sense of recollection, the time, place, and practical context of the “previous” experience are uncertain or believed to be impossible happens again”. So, here’s my unscientific, unconfirmed, and completely self-created logic around this phenomenon, and it is that I strongly believe and practice The Great Law, which is “whatever we put into the universe will come back to us”. Or for my saints it is Galatians 6: 7-8 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap”. As I have journeyed through this adventure called life, I have come to honor and serve the positive source of my power, and that manifests with pure, deliberate, authentic, real and raw expressions and investments of my love to other’s (but it wasn’t always that way).
Now back to this caller… I was extremely sick, but I was in a state of shock but not very surprised (if that makes sense), because I always knew it would happen but didn’t know it would happen. Again… déjà vu. Anyways, this person was from my past and a not-so-good part of past, however, despite the pain, years, and time, he just wanted to hear my voice… He just needed to reconnect to that which once gave him joy, passion and maybe a little heaven on earth. But regardless of his why, it was a sign to me that what I sowed will undoubtedly and always make its way back to me.
The connections we make on this earth are eternal and last forever, both the good and the bad ones. Every single day we actively (sometimes passively) make the decision to love, encourage, support, protect, provide for, give, share, honor, respect, desire and joyously embrace ourselves and others. Let’s switch it up and say you (we) make the decision to do the opposite of all the aforementioned things, it’s still an action and choice we make that will affect us and others. So, here’s the tea on this déjà vu thang and that random call… WHAT EVA’ you put out, you WILL get back! Although illicit, I loved that individual deeply and purely, so regardless of how or why our relationship ended there will always be a sweet residue of me lingering somewhere in the confines of his thoughts and heart, because I gave my entire heart to him, and that is exactly what I’m still getting from him.
For me, my decisions are coming from a place of love and respect and in reverence to The Great Law. If you cannot love (this includes platonic, family, intimate, etc.) someone in the best way you possibly can and in a way that meets both of your needs, then the wisest thing you can (and should do) is release them in love and through love, to clear the universal pathways for whomever and whatever they are deserving of having to reach them. BUT if you realize that you Can and Will do better to make it work, then do it! And don’t give anything or anyone, the opportunity to get what is yours by divine right! It all comes back around anyway, so live deliberately and learn to let go of your pride, ego, fear and live fully in love so you can always reap a harvest of just that.