The Beauty of Darkness

Every Sunday after dinner, the kids and I have a family meeting. In it we all go over our calendars, share what we are grateful for and pray. It’s always full of jokes, laughter, and random TikTok videos, and that tonight they were so loud I grabbed the lighter and ran to my backyard patio. I lit the bug repellant candle (because the bugs be trying to get me, even they know I’m sweet! 😊). I took a deep breath, like I was about to go swimming under water, I laid back into the chair and fixed my gaze upward and slowly released all of the air in my lungs. After controlling my breaths, I closed my eyes to get still and further submerged into the moment. I listened to the wind play with the leaves of the surrounding trees, and the absolute softest breeze swept across my face in the most perfect way. It was almost as if God himself was trying to sooth me.

I opened my eyes and thought to myself, “this is the same sky my ancestors, my dad and every person in the entire world and in all of existence, has also seen”. I whispered a quick prayer of gratitude “my God, I thank you for letting me see this small piece of your glory”. Although I have gazed at the stars hundreds of times before, for some reason I was deeply intrigued and started to wonder what each star was made of and its size and name. I thought about how brilliantly some shined while others seemed softer and more distant. I didn’t have any of my phones with me, but I wanted to google it and order a telescope at that very second! LOL. But I just sat there, motionless yet very moved…

The past week was one of high peaks and low valley’s and it ended in a dark place that I never thought I would be. Have you ever had a situation come out of nowhere and throw you completely off? It was one of those situations, and although it was shocking and unnerving, I still felt peace, but it was still dark… There wasn’t any light, warmth or beauty that I could see or feel in that situation however, there was purpose in it. It hit me while looking at the stars… Just like the nighttime sky and the majestic moon only display their glory in darkness so shall I (this is for YOU too)! Think about it. If every day and every experience was always positive, perfect and progressive we would never be able to fully appreciate it. Furthermore, there are so many rich life lessons learned in the darkness.

One being who is there with you… I shared with two people whom I consider close to me what happened. Both offered comforting words and encouragement. Both promised to check on me and follow-up after that conversation. Neither did. As a matter fact, I checked on and encouraged both of them, because no matter what I’m going through I remain consistent, loyal and supportive to those I love. Despite all I do, give and am to others, as I looked around that situation, there was no one “there” with me… One of the biggest blessings is revelation. I don’t believe there are any mysteries in the kingdom of God, and that if I (or you) ask God for discernment or clarity about a person or situation, He will reveal it. Knowing who is around, versus in who is in your corner can save you a lifetime of hurt (even when you don’t want to believe it). After the disappointment dissipated, I was really thankful for that reminder. Sometimes the darkness shows you who isn’t worthy to absorb your light…

Still gazing upward, I decided to simply submerge myself in the perfection, so I stopped my racing thoughts and just thought about galaxy and sky. It was such a mesmerizing escape from all the responsibilities, work, health issues and pressure. And if we can get silent and still enough in the midst of our tough times, God can show us His glory in that situation just like he does in the sky every single night. Although I am still in the midst of dealing with a few challenging situations (as we all do) I feel as radiant, powerful, beautiful, and divinely majestic as the twinkling stars. I feel God all around me, more than the expansive sky is wide. If you don’t already, I encourage you to submit all the dark situations to God and watch Him show you the beauty that still resides in the nighttime seasons of your life. Let’s learn to let go of the need to fight and figure everything out, and let God enter the situation and allow Him reveal what we need to know and amaze us with His glory.

-Selah