I Wanna Know…

I was listening to the acoustic version of “I Wanna Know” by Joe covered by Will Gittens, and it instantly put a smile on my face. I was about to go to sleep and started pulling my pink and gold comforter back, then I just stopped. I sat on the side of the bed and propped my feet up on the bottom frame, while I listened to the lyrics over and over. I love the song because it is such a pure, honest, and passionate narrative between a man and the woman he loves. While my eyes were closed, I drifted momentarily back to the first time I heard this song back in the late nineties. I softly smiled because it still gives me hope now (like it did then) that there are men (and people in general) that deny fear, pride, and ego the right to destroy the potential or growth of a relationship by sharing their heart honestly, fully and consistently.

The deep level of vulnerability and empathic concern expressed in the lyrics is profound, because it’s extremely rare to find someone who will selflessly and unconditionally commit to learning, giving, and loving another person. And for the most part it’s because…we’re all lil bit scared!!! Scared of being hurt (again), lied to, cheated on, under-valued, not appreciated, disrespected, misunderstood, and ultimately rejected. I personally know this to be true…It takes courage to love (lusting is easy). It takes strong desire to compel your logic to dispel the realities, myths and fears associated with being in an exclusive relationship.

Nowadays, the shallow, transient and transactional relations are much more frequent than deep, stable, consistent, and committed ones. It’s easier to be single and have friends to do things with and meet different needs with. Unfortunately, most go that route because it allows for privacy, convenience, and minimal investment. It’s hard to explain what contemporary dating looks like, but the best example I can give is this… Finding someone who you truly enjoy being with, have a friendship, connection, complimentary goals, beliefs, and desires is like me trying to go a jewelry store and buy a ring. I can’t!!! You know why? Because my ring finger is a size four (4) and every piece of jewelry I buy has to be custom made (which takes weeks to design, order and get). You will never find a ring in a store in a size 4….neva! LOL. We must accept that relationships worth having, fighting for, and keeping is the same way… custom made and designed over time.

We are all guilty of not telling people how we feel, what we think and what we want for multiple reasons, the number one being fear of rejection. But to be honest, most of the times we get in our own way! Especially when we can’t control this situation, we naturally feel threatened by the possibility of it not working out the way we want it to, so we cowardly decline to say what we know we should’ve already said. And here’s the consequence, loss. We stand to lose people we care deeply for, people we want in all of our tomorrows and people who love us wholeheartedly today. It’s selfish and unfair when we deny our truth to them. We have the audacity to think there will be another day, time, or opportunity to share how we feel, when none of us mere humans know the day our hour when it’s all over for us. So, here’s our work … let’s all learn to let go of all the reasons we deny ourselves love, companionship and happiness. I deserve all those things and so do You!